In Soviet Russia the Toilet Flushes You!

I feel as though I’ve taken on too much responsibility this week. I bought renter’s insurance, Alstom is shipping me off to Moscow, CCCP for the week of April 13, I made a claim using said renter’s insurance, and bought a nice suit at Macy’s.

The events concerning the insurance and the toilet reference in the title of this post boggle my mind. I signed for a policy Sunday evening, which I did not previously have, and this morning the toilet backed up, flooded the bathroom, and leaked into the unit downstairs. For serious. Having the foresight to get the policy is just as much an act of God as my crapper rejecting its breakfast. Consider also, that the affected neighbor downstairs enjoys listening to Christian rock in the early morning and late evening, praying out loud, and crying while he does so. He also talks very loudly on the phone for hours about how much he loves God and how his passion makes him a better person than folks like me, who aren’t Jesus freaks. Act of God, indeed.

I am excited about going to Moscow. This adventure will include a lot of firsts for me:

  • I’ve never visited a non-English speaking or non-Spanish speaking country.
  • I’ve never flown for more than about four hours.
  • I’ve never been so far from home.

To clarify that last statement, I’ve never traveled farther north than Toronto, farther south than Belize, farther east than Puerto Rico, or farther west than Las Vegas. That said, I can only imagine visiting Moscow for work related reasons because it really isn’t relevant to me. I certainly respect and appreciate the city’s history, but it’s a history to which I don’t belong. Furthermore, Moscow seems closer to nowhere than I’d travel to for the sake of traveling. I’m also nervous about the trip because it seems like the folks at Alstom’s Russian branch are counting on my expertise on piping analysis. I’m told that I am supposed to answer their questions. I wonder if they have any idea what they are in for.

I hope to take plenty of photos with my new Holga in Moscow. In fact, I hope to take one of a Volga. I will consider the trip wasted if I do not achieve this goal.

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